Git Commandos

01 / WATCH IT

See a run

02 / THE ENEMIES

Five things try to stop the commit

Recruiters, interns, mandatory meetings, an invite storm, and a stampede. Screenshots from real runs.

Two pink Recruiter enemies holding range and firing, with dialogue bubbles asking if the player is still at their desk.

Recruiters

Hold range and talk at you while they shoot. "Are you still at your desk?" is cover fire.

A pack of orange Intern enemies converging on the player, asking where they get access.

Interns

Arrive in packs. One is nothing; four at once while a Recruiter holds range is the pincer they exist to create.

Two meeting zones on the map: a red 'Lunch and Learn' zone to avoid, and an amber 'Incident Retro' zone that is mandatory and safe from fire.

Meetings

Land on the map at random — no warning, nothing to shoot to stop them. Amber ones you're compelled to attend (and are safe inside); red ones pin you in molasses.

Outlook Invite Storm

Rains invites across the block. Catch one and you get a modal — it accepts itself if you don't answer.

A stampede of AI bro enemies charging down a lane, one saying 'I vibe-coded our auth layer.'

AI Bro Stampede

Moving straight on vibes can not be tamed. will not listen to anyone. better get out of the way

03 / COMMANDS

Install and run

install

$ npm install -g git-commandos

Needs Node 18.17+ and a real git on your PATH. Ships pre-built — nothing to compile after install.

Commands

Command	Description
`gcmds commit -m "message"`	Commit staged files — survive to ship them
`gcmds quick-run`	Stage fake files and play a test round
`gcmds fake-files [--count=N]`	Create and stage N fake `.ts` files
`gcmds play`	Launch sandbox mode — no real git state

All commands accept --extreme: on loss, files are deleted from disk instead of just unstaged.

Everything else — status, log, push, whatever — goes straight to the real git, unmodified. Alias git=gcmds in your shell if you want it everywhere; git itself is never installed over or replaced, and \git skips the game on any single command.

Controls

`WASD`	Move
Mouse	Aim
Left mouse	Fire
`Space`	Dodge
`E`	Interact — deposit or reclaim at the stash cache
`Q`	Drop a crate
`R`	Reload
`Esc`	Pause

Gamepad works too — sticks to move and aim, triggers to fire.

Pickups

Machine Gun / Shotgun	Weapon upgrade — the Sidearm never runs out, these do
Ammo	Rounds for the matching weapon only
Medkit	Heal, under the `health` rule

04 / COMING SOON

More ways to lose work

Commit ships today. The rest of the git surface is still in the briefing room — unchecked, untested, and coming for your repo.

gcmds merge <branch> Merge a branch
gcmds rebase oh god no
gcmds pull Fetch and hope
gcmds push Ship commits to remote

05 / FAQ

Frequently asked, honestly answered

Is this a good idea?: No.
Is it safe to use on a real project?: No.
I lost a bunch of work. What do I do?: Please fill out this form.